The Beginning of After by Jennifer Castle

Published: September 6, 2011 by HarperTeen
Received: Advanced Reader Copy from the publisher - thanks HarperTeen!

Sixteen-year-old Laurel's world changes instantly when her parents and brother are killed in a terrible car accident. Behind the wheel is the father of her bad-boy neighbor, David Kaufman, whose mother is also killed. In the aftermath of the tragedy, Laurel navigates a new reality in which she and her best friend grow apart, boys may or may not be approaching her out of pity, overpowering memories lurk everywhere, and Mr. Kaufman is comatose but still very much alive.

Through it all, there is David, who swoops in and out of Laurel's life and to whom she finds herself attracted against her better judgment. She will forever be connected to him by their mutual loss, a connection that will change them both in unexpected ways. {taken from goodreads.com}

Imagine your entire world being shattered in to a million little pieces in the blink of an eye.  This is what happened to sixteen year old Laurel.  In a moment's breath she lost her father, mother, and brother in a horrific car accident that will leave skid marks and broken glass inside Laurel's heart for the rest of her life.  When I first read the synopsis I was drawn to the subject matter of what it means to lose everything you have, literally.  Call me crazy or morbid, but I tend to enjoy books more that make me feel and think beyond the average literary tale.

As the pages turned, Laurel's life stopped.  She found herself unable to get out of bed some mornings, afraid of what her world looked like without the presence of her family in it.  My heart reached out to Laurel during these dark moments.  I'm not sure I would know how to function either.  Slowly, her feet found the floor and she was able to get up, stand, and walk; even if she went through the daily motions in a fog.  With the help of her grandmother and her best friend, Laurel eased back in to her life -- or what she thought was her life.  Then came the hushed whispers, and the sorrowful stares.  It became too much for Laurel.  There was one place she found solace, though.  In the presence of David, the son of the neighbors who were responsible for the death of Laurel's family.  Such an unexpected comfort she found with David, but it was something she could cling to -- and that she did, nails dug deep and hard.

When tragedy is dumped upon someone it's some times easier to crawl back inside and shy away from the world.  Laurel found a strength inside her that she was unaware of.  With the help of people close to her, including David, she started to put the pieces back together in her life.  This book touched heavily on what it means to grieve the loss of a loved one.  There is no wrong way, or right way.  Every one will handle it differently.  The important thing is that it is dealt with.  Ignoring the pain only creates more heartache later down the road.  I felt that the author, Jennifer Castle, represented such a tough topic in a very open and honest way.  Laurel's pain felt real and something I could grasp on to, no matter how heavy it sunk in my heart.

You realize a book speaks volumes when it can touch a personal piece inside you.  The Beginning of After did just that for me.  Though I did not endure the horrific loss of my entire family, I did lose my mother when I was 22 years old.  It was a sudden and very unexpected loss.  I identified with Laurel, in that regard.  Waking up one day to your entire world being turned upside down and having to remind yourself how to breath.  It's a pain that is unforgettable.  But it's also a pain that is manageable, as difficult as that may seem.  You are still breathing, you are still living.  Life goes on.  You may not like the After, but it's there, and it's up to you what you'll do with it.